We are fighting with Xavier’s school. A short while ago I posted about the school not pushing him sufficiently. The situation has continued and it reached a point where I sent a letter to the principal insisting that in certain areas Xavier is not being pushed. We know that in certain subjects he is weaker than in others and feel he is being overstretched there.
Let me put it this way. If a kid is battling with basic subtraction, you don’t give the kid multiplication, and if the child can spell “library”, you don’t constantly set the bar at words like “can.” This in essence is what is happening here and given that he is supposed to have an IEP, we can assume that the IEP has been designed like this – demand way past his limits where’s he struggles, and where he has strengths diminish those skills. Really, the principle should be to push more gently where he battles and stretch where he has skills.
So, I wrote a letter complaining and demanding that we be allowed to participate in drawing up his IEP, and requesting a meeting with the principal. The upshot thus far has been as letter back suggesting meetings at times when I cannot make it, due to work pressures, to say that we were welcome to discuss the IEP, but that as professionals they would make the decisions regarding the IEP, and noting the criticism which characterized our relationship with his teachers.
This last part really gets my goat. In essence it is saying, “do not fight on behalf of your child.” It isa statement which diminishes our role as parents and devalues anything we say, because after all they are the “professionals.” Where Xave is being under-served, we must put up or shut up. I don’t know about elsewhere in the world, but in South Africa, people with titles such as doctor or teacher buy into the belief that the title imbues them with infallibility and places them beyond reproach. It also creates within them the notion that no one else can possibly have the slightest knowledge in their field. There are wonderful exceptions like our GP who offered to show me the protocols for her treatment of Xave’s asthma. I respect her for that.
Xavier is our son and if we do not engage, and where necessary criticism after having made numerous requests is to fail him. The implied idea that we should not fight the school is then, in essence, the implication that we should not fight for our son. Not fight for better service to him. So not going to happen! How dare they suggest that we should not struggle for better for him, oh and say that we can contribute to his IEP, by providing as we do, private OT and speech therapy for him, the same therapists whose annual reports they ignore, for after all they are not professional educators. But to say we contribute by providing therapy outside the school agin effectively dismisses the notion that we can contribute to the development of the IEP.
My response? To reply saying that I could not possibly make the suggested times for a meeting ad explaining why and asking that in the interim, I be sent a copy of Xave’s IEP in order to prepare for the discussion when it happens.
But wait there’s more! I had promised that I would send the school information on IPad apps that served educational and therapeutic purposes, so I have prepared a brief list with explanations of each and the value they bring, (Am I the only one who sees the irony of their asking a non-professional to provide input on educational apps?) As a little extra I made a suggestion about the use of a score for socially acceptable interaction in rubrics involving forums online, mentioning this was a practice I often suggested during the courses I gave on educational assessment. Perhaps they might realize that (is it possible) I know something.
What they are basically saying is throw your child to the side, there’s no point. As far as I am concerned there is always a point in fighting for your child. They are the most important things in the world.
Wish that I could double approve that comment.
Thanks. Having an Aspergic child, I had to fight at first for my son. One of his teachers said “He has plateaued and will never improve”
This was when he was in primary school. It was before the wonderful teacher who was forced out for taking an interest in my son and giving him proper teaching.
There was one time that his teacher wasn’t in and they didn’t tell him. It had got to the stage where they had to tell him of any change. So he spent the whole day sitting there with his pack bag on his head or sitting under the table.
It would be nice if your country would see that Autism can be a gift, it is not always a disability. If they saw it that way, maybe they would teach differently.
I’m all for fighting.
If you were in my country and I were your adovcate, I’d trade the spelling for the math.In other words, let them do the multiplication, because the odds are in son’s favor…multiplication can be easier than subtraction because the intent is much more clear IF Xlikes addition and a gotcha-game. However, see if they’ll let you do the homework your own way. Same with the spelling – you give them the * and have them up the ante on the spelling. You can call the bluff and win… and X will win, too. You know he can do the spelling and most people have a better chance at multiplication. You will look ‘cooperative’ and ‘knowledgeable.’
See http://www.naturalmath.com/mult/oldsite.html The best part is that I’ve seen 6 year olds teach it to six year olds. The method of teaching is also heavily communicative but can be learned – no nuance reading necessary.
I had a similar but different problem — 7 year old doing Algebra and reading t grade 8, but could only get a one yer accelaration. Bah. Kid was zoning out and dragging his tongue across the floor, bleh…
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